Something that makes me tick, like batteries making the clock tick, is this, what I am doing right now. I may not be the most proficient, talented writer in the world – but it keeps me ticking.
No joke!
Every day I think about what I will write and share with you. And, don’t laugh, it matters. It matters a great deal to me that I keep this darn writing thing up.
Every day I struggle with the concept I’m a little useless. Useless in the fact I don’t bring in a lot of money. I do not have a 9-5 job. A good deal of my time is spent thinking. Thinking of what to write. Thinking about thinking about writing. Hell, thinking: why don’t you just sit down and write something?
Currently, I’m working on a novel. Also, the second collection of my columns is being published.
(Two books written and published within a year’s time… never thought such a gift would happen.)
Once again, I have my sister to thank for all this. The column/blog. My wonderful wife. My mother for all the support and patience (not to mention NOT strangling me on the many occasions she should have). There are many factors contributing to the blessed life that I have. – A life filled with the time and the freedom to do just this. To write and to think.
Now, I have some scary news:
Tomorrow I am going in for a chest X-ray. I smoke. And I have been smoking for a long time. In my opinion, any time smoking is too long. That is not me scolding or preaching. I don’t do that. What I will do – and this is coming from experience – is share that almost everything, especially unhealthy things, has consequences.
Do I regret it?
Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. The point is that since I developed this horrendous cough, whether I regret smoking or not, an X-ray will take place. My wife is a medical professional. You try telling her what should or should not be done, medically. And she says I need the X-ray.
There is a pack of cigarettes in my pocket, now. It’s the only pack in the house. I have no plans to buy anymore. That is the plan, anyway.
Is it going to be hard and frustrating and possibly terrible? Most likely. Will I be a pain in the butt about it? I hope not.
Notes From the Night Desk 
I share your thoughts on feeling a little useless. I too have taken a break from the rat race to pursue my fiction, but there’s just a type of limbo that comes with having no concrete thing to do throughout the day. All the best with your x-ray! I had smoked a pack a day for about ten years before quitting for a couple decades now, and that’s the best decision I’ve ever made. Hopefully you hop onto that path too!
Mr. Danker: I want to thank you for the message you sent me (07/30/2022) and I apologize for taking so long to respond. The x-ray came back fine. Sadly, I am still smoking, though I have tried to stop repeatedly. What is your secret? Best to you and yours. I hope you are still reading my work. Contact me anytime.
Sincerely,
Rev. Leland Locke
Wish I could tell you. But it was as if a switch just flipped in my head, and I was done, despite the terrible longing and withdrawals. Glad to hear your x-ray is fine!