It’s coming to that time again, dear Reader. Time for me to buckle down, again, & put everything together, edit the hell out of it & submit a manuscript.
Part of me is NOT looking forward to it. It’s embarrassing, sometimes, to sit & read what you have written, fixing the god-awful grammatical errors & misspellings. But, what the hell… it’s part of the job.
It has been a very busy year. Getting married, moving several times, adjusting to MANY changes, putting my first book out, &, the hardest thing, beginning to be a part of other people’s lives. I never thought I would be in a position where I would receive so many messages & calls. Going from low-down-nobody-broke to a semi-decent citizen with a wife, home & a profession seems sublime. For goodness sakes, I have identification, dogs, a truck, a bank account, credit cards… hell, I have a WALLET. And clothes! Boots! Things to do, & people to do them with.
Tonight, for example, my wife & I are invited to spend some time with another couple. I’m being SOCIAL. What the hell happened to me?
It’s all very good, though. It’s what I have wanted. Sure: things have to be on my terms… I’m malformed that way, but it is happening. The dream is coming true!
Why is it coming true?
I’m not sure. I sure as hell don’t deserve it. I’m sure as hell not going to turn my back on it.
That feeling you get when you accomplish something you are passionate about… there is no other feeling like that. When I first printed out my first manuscript/novel-length stack of pages, I was soaring. Sure. I have done a lot of drugs and drank hundreds of gallons of booze & beer, but there is no high better than the one you feel holding your complete creation. – Something you did & constructed from nothing. A story! A story made beautiful with your mind.
This year I got to hold my first book in my hands.
What a killer-rush-bitch of a sensation.
And I keep going on & on. Every day, something needs to be written. Every day, something has happened worthy of time spent on the keyboard.
Remember: if it’s important to you, always be faithful to pursuing it.
One thought on “6:08 PM”
Embarrassing is the right word. You’d think I’d know how to string a few sentences together, but once I go back and reread what I’ve written, it’s almost like a trip down the Slide Of Self-Judgement. And I have to do that for an entire manuscript. Gah.
Anyway, wishing you all the best with your editing!