Keeping up with things is hard. Keeping up with laundry, the dishes, paying the bills, shaving, shaving your face (your legs, for you ladies… and some guys, too, I guess…) unmentionable parts, and relationships – you HAVE to keep up with those.
Now, where I am at in my life, I have to keep up with animals. Keep up with taking medications… & just keeping up with LIFE!
I am not used to it. Ans it is so hard. Life is so hard.
But there is the happiness in keeping up with it all.
For instance: two mornings ago, I was the happiest man I never thought I would be. I just woke up knowing things were going to be good that day.
Maybe it was My Special Lady Friend coming out of the shower, smelling the way a lady should smell. And my heart-strings were pulled-back just a little bit more.
Maybe it was the work I did on the Blog, and that wonderful sense of accomplishment gave the type of BOOST you usually have to obtain through illegal purchases…
It could have been the dogs wandering around, tackling & growling & barking at one another. – But they were doing it out of doggy affection.
Standing outside on the porch, smoking away, a book in my hand, which was pointless taking outside with me. I was too busy marveling at everything. At everything I have. Of remembering where I have been, and remembering what is was like having nothing. And wanting a special lady friend, but too affraid to even consider it.
I was affraid of GIRLS for awhile.
Nothing but trouble; I would try convincing myself of such nonsense.
Some may be. But not my friend that brought me to this wonderful life I am now living.
I don’t think she realizes what it was I did NOT have. And how desperate I truly was to feel like someone was/would save me.
Then again, I know she is going to read this.
And I know it will make her smile.