An Illusionary Image: First Newspaper Gig A Real Bummer

It was a job I knew NOTHING about! But I wanted it. I submitted a resume. On said resume, under INTERESTS, I wrote “photography”.

And that was not a lie.

I did have an interest in photos… of people like The Great Photographer, WeeGee (Arthur Fellig) & Farahnaz Khalili & Francesca Woodman… I just knew very little about the process of taking photos, digitally editing them… I could write the captions just fine.

Finding Francesca – Look Closer | Tate
Francesca Woodman (April 03, 1958 – January 19, 1981): Self Portriat.

What did I know about covering a story? – In any fashion! I had been an Associate Editor of a college Literary Magazine, Icon. But I had never actually COVERED a news story.

And I applied to be a reporter for a daily newspaper!

The Alliance Review, located in one of the less depressing cities of Ohio, catering to several counties. Founded in 1888, and with a circulation of around 14,000 people, I thought: Why Not?

If I was going to fail, I was going to fail trying.

And I did fail.

I did not know how to properly use the equipment.

I did not have the kind of temperment to “cover” a story with authority. Authority is too much like a unnessesary confrontation. And I did not like telling people to stop talking. Look at the camera. Write your name down.

I was overwhelmed.

My drinking did not help things, either. It was around this time that my Physical Dependency on alcohol was becoming an everyday reality.

I kept beers hidden under the bench seat of my little red truck. A case of beer ALWAYS in the toolbox of the bed of the truck.

It’s hard to focus a camera on a subject when your own eyes cannot focus.

It was not hard for me to be fired from my first Newspaper gig. At that time, and many more times throughout my life, being fired felt GOOD.

A psychological weight was lifted every time I lost a job.

And I was far-past having anything like PRIDE.

I wanted to drink & write poetry.

For years, that is what I did.

I’m going to try it again, though.

Nikon D5100

My Special Lady Friend decided to give me an early Christmas present. This is one mother-of-a-good-bastard of a camera. At least, in my mind! But what do I know about photagraphy… about digital imagery… or filming.

Not that much.

What I do know is I have two different lenses for the camera. A tripod. And, if I am motivated enough, smart & talented enough, I will start constructing Pod Casts for this Blog – to promote this writing & to promote ME into this Digital, Literary world.

This is more important than the future. This is THE NOW! And all we have is NOW.

NOW it’s time for me to wrap this up.

I have a Lady to spend time with. And I want to do it – NOW!


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